December 2nd 2011

Posted by -Rather Die Young; on December 2, 2011 at 5:55 PM

Wow, I havent written on here since friggin July. Thats a long time yo, its December now! Well yes, i'm back to writing on here. So much has happened in my life, and I dont think that one blog entry would be long enough. So Ill just summarize everything.


School has gotten way better than before. I am acquainted with everyone, i'm making decent grades (not grades I favor, but still good) and i'm trying to tolerate the teachers.  The only thing I hate about my school is that I am one of the few blacks there, so I cant actually vent or say what I want to say in fear of being deemed racist.  I honestly feel as though two of my teachers dont favor me because of my race. There has been multiple times where I was singled out because of my race, or they would screw with my grades and give me grades I didnt deserve. But besides that, I am doing pretty well. There IS one girl I cant stand for the life of me. Imma' just call her Tom &&' Jerry; She looks like a rat and sounds like a cat.  She legitly sounds like a screaming cat that just got shot and is trying to attract attention. She is so aggitating, and has the most stank attitude in the world.  Im surprised most of my friends like her anyway. But I cant think of anything else to report. Everything is going well.


I am having many more problems with guys now. I dont know why they feel the need to suddenly show their "affection" for me. Me hating to hurt someones feelings ends up being nice, which could possibly be leading them on.  That has happened twice this summer and I dont want to do that anymore.Once again, the only guy I could still say I love is Rakim. Its true, he's my everything. One thing with guys is that I get bored with guys s u p e r quickly.  But I've known Rakim for three years, and still talk to him as though I met him yesterday.  He's just that perfect. Ohmywow, especially his lips x) And his gorgeous smile. And his eyes, and the face he makes when he is studying something hella' hard, just everything x) 

The Holidays;

The holidays are going well. I am actually upset. I went Christmas shopping for my friends thinking I got everyone, but then remembered like eight  people I neglected to get gifts for. I may get them a bath and body works basket and just call it a day. I dont even know what I want for Christmas forreal. I desperately want a new phone d e f i n i t e ly. My phone sucks ass, >.> But yea, I am mostly asking for Classic Disney Movies, some of which should be listed in a different blog entry, haha. I R E A L L Y want to watch Rakim graduate next year. That would just complete my life.  Too bad my aunt says no, i'm determined to convince her to let me go. Even if its the only thing I get, it would be enough just to see him. I still havent gotten to the Christmas spirit. I guess I cant believe its already here. Its just to early it seems.  The only thing i've done to get into the spirit was watch Friday After Next (the best movie E V E R may I add?) But yeaa.


I know you are looking at this section like, sanity? Wth? But yes, my sanity level has been shifting dramatically since the summer. You would not believe it.  I basically feel alone, misunderstood and hurt.  I worry about others more than I worry about myself. When I actually take time out to do what makes me h a p p y, I get called selfish by e v e r y o n e. Its very hurtful.  And people think that feelings dont hurt anymore.  Sticks &&' Stones will break my bones, but words leave psychological wounds that will never heal" 

Well, I will be updating this website more often. Stay tuned! (:

Categories: Personal Reflection

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